Best Friend Jokes

Two Friends are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"
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Two good friends were out hiking one day. One of the hikers stepped off the trail to take a leak. Suddenly a rattlesnake bit him right where it counts most. He screamed and his friend came running.

After a minute of panic, the friend said... "Look you just wait here and rest while I run into town to get some help." His friend ran all the way to town and found the doctor.

Doctor: "Hmm.. well, I'm afraid you are going to have to cut the wound lengthwise across the fang marks and then suck all the venom out. Your friend should be just fine then." The town doctor wasn't able to go to the victim because advanced age so the hiker asked him to repeat his instructions several times just to be sure he had them right. He then ran as fast as he could back to his injured friend in the woods.

Injured Hiker: "Did you find the doctor?"

Friend: "Yes, I ran all the way to town and I found the doctor."

Injured Hiker: "Well, what did he say?"

Friend: "He said you're going to die..."
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