Man Shower

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
Leave in a pile
Walk naked to the bathroom
If you see wife along the way, shake knob at her making woo hoo sound
Look at manly physique in the mirror
Admire size of your knob and scratch your ass
Get in the shower
Wash your face
Wash your armpits
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off
Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in shower
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area
Wash you butt leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap
Shampoo hair
Make shampoo mohawk
Pee
Rinse off and get out of shower
Partially dry off
Fail to notice water on floor
Admire knob size in mirror again
Leave shower door open, leave wet mat on floor, leave light and fan on
Return to bedroom with towel around waist
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake knob at her and make woo hoo noise again
Throw wet towel on bed.