Woman Shower

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to whites and coloured. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make mental note to do more sit ups.
Get in shower
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash hair again to make sure it is clean.
Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes.
Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Shave armpits and legs
Turn off shower
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower
Dry with towel the size of small country
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head
If you see husband along the way, cover any exposed areas